Ambition, What matters, and my short fuse.

Yes I did say I wasn’t going to write on here but whatever. Whats on my mind? What matters to me. A few years ago if someone would have said, “You care how much your partner makes, huh?”, I would have said, “im not that shallow. It doesn’t matter to me”. Now I have to fess up, it does matter to me. How do I feel about this? Not that bad actually. Here’s my justification. If one person in the relationship is working hard to be at and stay at a certain level of income while the other person isn’t holding up to their end of the bargain its only a matter of time before the person working hard starts to ask serious questions about the relationship. Making what my mom makes (she has no education) is not acceptable in my eyes any more. Can i say that i want someone to make what i make? Absolutely not! I believe making what my mom makes isnt pushing yourself. This is part of the complete “Love” package. Its no longer simply about loving someone, its about, “Does this person make for a good mate” plus the emotional piece.

Ambition. some people have it others don’t. For the last 2 maybe 3 years ive been sitting on my ass. I’ve bought into the idea that, “Hey as long as i know im good thats all that matters”. Turns out thats not how it works with me. I am good and im actively getting back to my “roots” of showing that im good. If people think im a dick…dont really care at this point. Am I saying im going to actively put people down and not be a team player? No! Being “good” at what you do also means making others around you good as well.

So lately, if I’ve blown you off or possibly cut you off, im not really going to apologize here, but rather want to say; if i allowed anyone around me to get away with just talk, I’ve failed you as a friend and/or bf.

Armando Padilla – on “getting on with the fuck’n program”