Leadership and loosing faith in it.

So much to talk about, so much to think about, and so many things to reconsider. This is just going to be a free form rant. No topic really but ill try to provide some structure to it.

While I was in Spain one of the things I asked myself was, “Do i really want to keep working for Mobile”, “What can i learn from my time in Mobile”, and finally “What can i learn from my current lead”

I told myself, “2 years, If i can do 2 years with Yahoo ill be good.” With almost 3 years under my belt I feel content. When i moved into the Mobile MPS team i told myself, “I want to learn CI solid, I want to learn Unit testing solidly, and i want to document as much of the process as possible” I’ve accomplished the goals I set out for myself and some.

Today, was the tipping point for me. Today I lost faith in my leadership.

I used to lead a small army (thats what i liked to call them) I never ever did what was pulled on me today. Maybe she didnt mean it but it came off like it and it made me loose complete total faith in my leadership.

2 things stood out during my meeting.
1. School was getting in the way of my work.
2. The amount of work and commitment i put into this job is seen as “part time” work because im not around the office half the day.
3. Following my current role will keep me in the same spot for ages to come if i dont do somethign about it.

Ill start with the second point. I spend on average 50+ hours a week on work. I had relationship problems (we’re working on it now), my book deal hit a snag all thanks to my ability to work hard…very hard and put everything else second. I work from 9am-2pm then from 7pm-10pm, on Saturdays I work a full 8 hours, and on Sundays I work half the day (8×5+8+4 = 52). But this is all seen as part time work by my leadership because im not seen at work for half the day.

I take on side projects for work, CI didnt magically appeared ready for us to use. Nope I worked on it during the evenings. I even get odd questions and calls late at night asking for direction. Hell, Ive been awake at 2am talking to someone in London for work. But all of a sudden taking 2 courses for my Masters in Computer Science and not Masters in Tapestry or Masters in fixing Nintendo’s is getting in the way. 😐 (Not amused)

The point is “face-time”. I get it. How can someone rely on me if im only at the office half the time. Easy! Tell me ahead of time that someone is going to rely on me SO I CAN BE THERE.

So where does the 2pm-7pm go to? School. Im a strong believer of pushing yourself to be better at what you do. I invest time in educating myself not in learning how to knit or learn how to cook, no i go to school to learn about software engineering, learn about algorithms, and learn about the current state of technology. I even went as far as push my small army to go back to school when i was a lead. But today my immediate Yahoo Mobile MPS leadership demonstrated the opposite. Its not ok to leave early and better yourself. IN FACT! i was even asked WHY i even wanted an MS with so much “on the job experience” under my belt. Technology changes and seeing the change is critical to our products. Maybe thats the reason why Yahoo is doing so bad? Who knows.

Depending how things shake up it will either allow me to move on with my career within the current team (which i dont think will happen) or it will allow me to explore something else, either within Yahoo or outside of it.

Either way i love technology, I love what i do hence the reason i put so much time and effort into it and I want to work for a company that allows for this (given theres no crazy project down the pipe)

I took on this load because we are not building anything during Q4, its very slow, if it was mid season and we had tons of projects coming down the pipe there is no way i would have taken on such a course load. I know how far to push it trust me.

Never in my wildest dreams did i think my attempts to become better at what i do and the amount of time i spend working was going to be the issue.

Armando Padilla…on..beats me.